Sunday, November 21, 2010

End Radio Silence

From: Tom
To: EVERYONE

Subject: E-mail Communication Update

Hello, everyone.

Just a quick message to update everyone on the e-mailing monitoring by Opcom and the government. I am pleased to report they are now satisfied that no other suspicious activity has been going on since the arrest of Jessica Holmes. This means that things can go back to the way they were before. I should also remind you that we still have company rules regarding e-mail use.

Thank you.

Tom Jones
Senior Personnel Director
Allied International Data Services


From: Chris
To: The Guys

Subject: RE: E-mail Communication Update

Let the e-mail abuse begin!

Oh and I took the liberty of creating a mailing group for us lot. By which I mean me, Andy, Joe and Gareth.


From: Joe
To: The Guys

Subject: Prank Time!

Well now the place is back to normal, it's time for a long overdue prank I figure!


From: Gareth
To: The Guys

Subject: RE: Prank Time!

Sounds like a plan to me, as long as it doesn't involve llamas crapping on my car!

From: Joe
To: The Guys

Subject: RE: Prank Time!

Did we ever call anyone to get them out of the car park?

From: Chris
To: The Guys

Subject: RE:RE: Prank Time!

Not that I know of. You think that Tom would have taken care of it.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Terror-what?

From: Tom
To: EVERYONE

Subject: Lack of E-mail Communication at AIDS

Hello, everyone.

I’m sure that the entire staff here at AIDS has noticed the lack of recent email communication (and by recent, I mean since the second week in October), and I do wish to send everyone an informative email to explain this.

On 12 October 2010, the executives of AIDS discovered that our new intern, Jessica Holmes, was a member of a local terrorist cel and planning on using the data hosted on our servers to commit an act of terrorism against the British government. Thanks to the efforts of Opcom, we’ve managed to collect enough evidence against her to put her in prison for a long, long time.

Unfortunately, this means that Opcom and the British government will be monitoring all e-mail communication at AIDS, so please, for the love of God, be careful about what you send. As long as your e-mails don’t contain anything that could be construed as breaking the law, we’ll be fine.

Thank you.

Tom Jones
Senior Personnel Director
Allied International Data Services

From: Gareth
To: Tom

Subject: RE: Lack of emails

Does this monitoring thing go for emails sent before October 12th?

Gareth Davies
King of the Britons
Allied International Data Services

From: Tom
To: Gareth

Subject: RE:RE: Lack of emails

No, Gareth, we’ve only been investigating e-mails sent and received by Jessica. Why?

From: Gareth
To: Tom

Subject: RE:RE:RE: Lack of emails

No reason.

From: Joe
To: Tom

Subject: RE: Lack of E-mail Communication

Wow, Tom, I see you took the time away from emailing to spiff up your signature. We still know it’s from you, but now we know it’s you, but only fancier.

Joe “Shmoe” Winston
Director of “Operation 419”
Allied International Data Services

From: Tom
To: Joe

Subject: RE:RE: Lack of E-mail Communication

That joke never gets old, Joe.

From: Gareth
To: Joe, Andy, Chris

Subject: Jessica

Damn. She’s seriously gone. Now there aren’t any hot women in the office.

From: Chris
To: Joe, Andy, Gareth

Subject: RE: Jessica

I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it through the work day.

Chris Bedfordfurthingtonchesterhill
Senior Mafia Partner
Allied International Data Services