From: Andy
To: Chris, Joe, Gareth
Subject: Missing persons
Have you guys heard the rumours of employees going missing in our office? Apparently a couple of people worked late last week and haven't been seen since. Seems a bit strange to me, nothing interesting happens in this place. Maybe it's all a joke.
From: Chris
To: Andy, Joe, Gareth
Subject: RE: Missing persons
I overheard some people chatting about that in the break room. Sounds as though it could be true. They said the security guard heard some screams and went to investigate. But all he found was some animal hair or something.
From: Joe
To: Chris, Andy, Gareth
Subject: RE:RE: Missing persons
Well I dunno about you guys, but I'm not planning to do any overtime in the near future!
From: Gareth
To: Chris, Andy, Joe
Subject: RE:RE:RE: Missing persons
Are you guys kidding me? They’re just rumours. You guys need to stop being wusses. Plus, I’ve got some overtime coming. Time and a half!
From: Andy
To: Chris, Joe, Gareth
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE: Missing persons
Well, it was nice knowing you, Gareth.
From: Chris
To: Andy, Gareth, Joe
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Missing persons
Wait a second, what happened to Jessica? You know, that hot intern? Didn’t she stay late last week?
From: Andy
To: Chris, Joe, Gareth
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Missing persons
You know, I haven’t seen her around the office lately, and she’s usually in during the week…
From: Gareth
To: Joe, Andy, Chris
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Missing persons
Damn. There went the only good looking woman in this place.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Sexual Harassment Lawsuits to follow...
From: Tom
To: EVERYONE
Subject: Dress Down Friday Reminder
Hi All,
As I'm sure many of you are already aware, Dress Down Friday will be commencing at the end of this week. But hold your horses! Before you go and start thinking about what outfit you plan to wear, this isn't just any old dress down day. The AIDS managers and I thought it would be a little more interesting if the days were themed. So we a little help from the suggestion box, we've come up with a few ideas which we feel should make things a little more fun for everyone. The first theme we have selected is Shirtless; quite simply no member of staff is allowed to wear a shirt. When it comes to formal dress, this is one of the main players. So that makes it a prime target for dressing down the place. The following week it is going to be Commando; so no one is allowed to wear any underwear at all. On the third week it shall be Redneck; yes our inbred brothers from over the pond. We've all got a check shirt somewhere in our collection. This does not mean you have to act like one though. The final planned theme is Jew; we all love the Jews and now its your chance to don a skull cap and get all Yiddish.
That is the plan for the next 4 weeks. However we are open to suggestions for themes to use in the future. Leave them in the suggestion box or send me an email.
Tom Jones
From: Mary
To: EVERYONE
Subject: RE: Dress Down Friday Reminder
I’ve got to say that I’m against the idea of Shirtless Friday. I find it demeaning to women and only gives the men in the office an excuse to ogle the shirtless women. I am firmly against it.
From: Tom
To: EVERYONE
Subject: Dress Down Friday Participation
Hi All,
In case you were wondering, Dress Down Friday participation is mandatory. Failure to comply will result in disciplinary action. Thank you.
Tom Jones
From: Gareth
To: Tom
Subject: RE: Dress Down Friday Reminder
Does this mean that the women won’t be wearing bras?
From: Tom
To: Gareth
Subject: RE:RE: Dress Down Friday Reminder
It will be at the woman’s discretion.
Tom Jones
From: Jessica
To: EVERYONE
Subject: RE: Dress Down Friday Reminder
I think this is a wonderful idea. I think that the office is a bit uptight sometimes, and I think that this is a great way to loosen the tie, so to speak. I’ll be there with bells on (and a shirt off). ;)
From: Gareth
To: Joe, Chris, Andy
Subject: JESSICA
Okay, did you guys read Jessica’s reply? I’m REALLY looking forward to this Friday.
From: Joe
To: Chris, Andy, Gareth
Subject: RE: JESSICA
I doubt any of us will be getting any work done that day.
From: Chris
To: Gareth
Subject: RE: JESSICA
Hey, Gareth, do you do nothing but think with your dick?
From: Gareth
To: Chris
Subject: RE:RE: JESSICA
Hey, it helped me score with that Swedish intern we had here last year. What was her name? Inga? Svetlana?
To: EVERYONE
Subject: Dress Down Friday Reminder
Hi All,
As I'm sure many of you are already aware, Dress Down Friday will be commencing at the end of this week. But hold your horses! Before you go and start thinking about what outfit you plan to wear, this isn't just any old dress down day. The AIDS managers and I thought it would be a little more interesting if the days were themed. So we a little help from the suggestion box, we've come up with a few ideas which we feel should make things a little more fun for everyone. The first theme we have selected is Shirtless; quite simply no member of staff is allowed to wear a shirt. When it comes to formal dress, this is one of the main players. So that makes it a prime target for dressing down the place. The following week it is going to be Commando; so no one is allowed to wear any underwear at all. On the third week it shall be Redneck; yes our inbred brothers from over the pond. We've all got a check shirt somewhere in our collection. This does not mean you have to act like one though. The final planned theme is Jew; we all love the Jews and now its your chance to don a skull cap and get all Yiddish.
That is the plan for the next 4 weeks. However we are open to suggestions for themes to use in the future. Leave them in the suggestion box or send me an email.
Tom Jones
From: Mary
To: EVERYONE
Subject: RE: Dress Down Friday Reminder
I’ve got to say that I’m against the idea of Shirtless Friday. I find it demeaning to women and only gives the men in the office an excuse to ogle the shirtless women. I am firmly against it.
From: Tom
To: EVERYONE
Subject: Dress Down Friday Participation
Hi All,
In case you were wondering, Dress Down Friday participation is mandatory. Failure to comply will result in disciplinary action. Thank you.
Tom Jones
From: Gareth
To: Tom
Subject: RE: Dress Down Friday Reminder
Does this mean that the women won’t be wearing bras?
From: Tom
To: Gareth
Subject: RE:RE: Dress Down Friday Reminder
It will be at the woman’s discretion.
Tom Jones
From: Jessica
To: EVERYONE
Subject: RE: Dress Down Friday Reminder
I think this is a wonderful idea. I think that the office is a bit uptight sometimes, and I think that this is a great way to loosen the tie, so to speak. I’ll be there with bells on (and a shirt off). ;)
From: Gareth
To: Joe, Chris, Andy
Subject: JESSICA
Okay, did you guys read Jessica’s reply? I’m REALLY looking forward to this Friday.
From: Joe
To: Chris, Andy, Gareth
Subject: RE: JESSICA
I doubt any of us will be getting any work done that day.
From: Chris
To: Gareth
Subject: RE: JESSICA
Hey, Gareth, do you do nothing but think with your dick?
From: Gareth
To: Chris
Subject: RE:RE: JESSICA
Hey, it helped me score with that Swedish intern we had here last year. What was her name? Inga? Svetlana?
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama...
To: EVERYONE
From: Joe
Subject: FWD: Llamas
In today’s world of purse dogs and whingy cats, wouldn’t it be nice to own a pet that’s both uncommon and useful?
Well, look no more.
Llamas, INC. is here to help. The llama is often thought of as only an animal to be ranched, but the truth is that llamas make great, loyal pets who can bring you years of fun and joy. Did you know llamas not only serve as great watch animals, but great guard animals as well? Imagine the look on the face of the next burglar to break into your house as he or she is faced with a biting, spitting guard llama. In addition to guard animal capabilities, you can take the hair after you shear your pet (keeps them cool and comfortable) and make it into a sweater that will keep you warm in the winter!
If you’re interested in owning one of these majestic animals, we are prepared to offer great deals on bulk purchases and even offer discounts to llama collectors. Please, email us at llamas@llamainc.co.uk or call us at 01135 663291 and order yours right away!
LLAMAS, INC.
To: EVERYONE
From: Tom
Subject: Llama invasion
Would anyone care to explain to me why there are fifty llamas currently occupying the car park? They have caused heavy damage to several cars and…well, the less said about the feces strewn everywhere, the better. I noticed Joe sending out the forward about the llamas, so when I find out who perpetrated this llama invasion, they shall be suspended without pay. If nobody decides to come forward, I shall have to think up an appropriate punishment for everyone. Thank you.
Tom Jones
To: Joe, Andy, Chris
From: Gareth
Subject: Llama invasion
I spent my entire paycheck, but seeing all those llamas in the car park and Tom’s email made it completely worth it.
To: Gareth, Joe, Andy
From: Chris
Subject: Llama invasion
Seriously, that had to be the best prank since the homeless man in the break room. Good show.
To: Gareth
From: Joe
Subject: Llama invasion
My car was covered in llama shit. If I have to hold you at gunpoint, you’re cleaning it up.
To: Joe
From: Gareth
Subject: Llama invasion
Cool down, mate. It was only a joke. Bring your car over to my place tonight and I’ll wash it off.
From: Joe
Subject: FWD: Llamas
In today’s world of purse dogs and whingy cats, wouldn’t it be nice to own a pet that’s both uncommon and useful?
Well, look no more.
Llamas, INC. is here to help. The llama is often thought of as only an animal to be ranched, but the truth is that llamas make great, loyal pets who can bring you years of fun and joy. Did you know llamas not only serve as great watch animals, but great guard animals as well? Imagine the look on the face of the next burglar to break into your house as he or she is faced with a biting, spitting guard llama. In addition to guard animal capabilities, you can take the hair after you shear your pet (keeps them cool and comfortable) and make it into a sweater that will keep you warm in the winter!
If you’re interested in owning one of these majestic animals, we are prepared to offer great deals on bulk purchases and even offer discounts to llama collectors. Please, email us at llamas@llamainc.co.uk or call us at 01135 663291 and order yours right away!
LLAMAS, INC.
To: EVERYONE
From: Tom
Subject: Llama invasion
Would anyone care to explain to me why there are fifty llamas currently occupying the car park? They have caused heavy damage to several cars and…well, the less said about the feces strewn everywhere, the better. I noticed Joe sending out the forward about the llamas, so when I find out who perpetrated this llama invasion, they shall be suspended without pay. If nobody decides to come forward, I shall have to think up an appropriate punishment for everyone. Thank you.
Tom Jones
To: Joe, Andy, Chris
From: Gareth
Subject: Llama invasion
I spent my entire paycheck, but seeing all those llamas in the car park and Tom’s email made it completely worth it.
To: Gareth, Joe, Andy
From: Chris
Subject: Llama invasion
Seriously, that had to be the best prank since the homeless man in the break room. Good show.
To: Gareth
From: Joe
Subject: Llama invasion
My car was covered in llama shit. If I have to hold you at gunpoint, you’re cleaning it up.
To: Joe
From: Gareth
Subject: Llama invasion
Cool down, mate. It was only a joke. Bring your car over to my place tonight and I’ll wash it off.
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